CATch That Bird
by Leloni Bunny
Summary: Furrball wants to eat... Little Beeper? The chase sequence gets a new spin thanks to a little hypnotism.


CATch that Bird!

By,

Leloni Bunny in 1992 or 93, (It was awhile ago, so I don't remember exactly.) I spent a summer writing up a script for a TTA cartoon. Unfortunately, about a week after finishing it, I saw a new (well, new to me) episode that had the same basic idea as my script. Naturally, I was a bit upset. Yet, I figured since an ep like that already existed, I should just shelf my script away.

Now, a few years later, I'm bringing the script back out of mothballs for all you happy toonatics to read. You'll find out which episode this is like as you read the story. Only a few changes have been made to the script. I've changed it into a story format because I find scripts a pain to read.

Secondly, I've updated a few of the gags to make the story better.

So, sit back, relax and enjoy what was my very first attempt at a TTA cartoon!

Life was going on as usual in the city of Acme Acres. Traffic was crowded. Birds chirped. And, the usual chase sequences raced through the alleyways. As a tossed away newspaper lazily drifted along a street corner, it suddenly found itself smacked into a pink canary's face.

The canary, Sweetie Bird, tore the newspaper off her face and fluttered around the street corner as fast as her wings would go. Not far behind her came Furrball Cat. And, he was looking quite hungry.

Sweetie fluttered this way and that, barely dodging the blue cat that was closing in on her fast.

"Gotta hide! Gotta hide!" she panted as she tried to outfly the alley cat. She spotted an old oak tree and flew over to it quickly. There was an opening in the trunk. Sweetie dove into it, hoping Furrball wouldn't think to look inside.

Furrball watched her fly into the tree. He thought for sure he would finally have his canary sandwich he'd always wanted.

He came to a halt behind a nearby gate. Slowly, he slinked his way over to the tree and peered into the hole. His head immediately backed out as a monstrous wolverine head shot up into his face. It growled viciously. The poor cat screeched in terror and took off in a blue streak of lightning.

The wolverine head chuckled as two small pink wings lifted the mask and tossed it away. Sweetie grinned smugly. She flew away before Furrball figured out that he'd been tricked.

She soon stopped to rest in front of an electronics store. 'I've got to find a way to get that cat to stop chasing me.' She thought to herself as she panted.

Behind her a voice spoke, "Fwiends, are you having twouble with someone pestewing you? Are you sick and tiwed of it?" Sweetie nodded and turned around. The Tvs in the electronics store were on. Elmer Fudd was talking in them. "Well then, you need to get my new book, 'How to Hypnotize Evewything'" Here, he held up an ordinary looking red book, "This book has been time tested and approwved by me, Ewlmer Fudd. It's gauwanteed to work on dogs, cats, humans, biwds, Tazmanian Devils and especiawy wabbits! So, don't deway! Get my new book today."

As the screen went blank, Sweetie chuckled to herself, "Hmm, with that book, I could be rid of Furrball for good!"

"With that book, I could be rid of those screen-hogging-bunnies for good!"

Startled, Sweetie looked up at Plucky Duck, who was standing beside her. He'd obviously seen the ad too and was making his own devious plans. "Hmmm, better yet, I could make Buster and Babs my sidekicks. Wait my SLAVES! That's even better!"

The duck turned quickly, knocking Sweetie out of the way as he did. "Watch out you dumb bunnies, Plucky Duck is out to get you!"

With that, he took off for the nearest bookstore. Sweetie followed at a bit of a distance. She didn't intend to be in his way again.

Meanwhile, Furrball was still hungry and still looking for Sweetie. He looked everywhere he could think of for that pesky bird. He checked the trees, the bushes, the mailboxes and even the trashcans. As he lifted a trashcan lid to peer inside it, he heard a yell.

"Here kitty, kitty, kitty! NICE TASTY BIRDIE OVER HERE!!!!"

As he looked up, a banana peel splattered into his face. Now extremely angry, the cat swiped the peel from his face and took off in the direction it had come from. He dropped the trashcan lid as he ran. The lid bounced on the can's rim for a few seconds and fell off. It made a loud CLANG as it hit the cement.

Sweetie leaned against a telephone pole, awaiting Furrball's arrival. She seemed unconcerned as his shadow loomed over her. Her expression still didn't change as he closed his claws around her. He lifted her toward his saliva dripped sharp teeth. As he brought her to eye level, she still retained that unconcerned glance.

Suddenly, her expression changed. Her eyes narrowed and her beak formed a devilish sneer. With an ice cold glare, she began to hypnotize the feline. At her first attempt, he seemed dazed for a second. Then he shook it off, returning to his previous intentions of swallowing her.

Sweetie tried again, this time giving him a stronger stare. The cat couldn't fight it this time. His conscious thought drifted away. His expression became a blank, almost zombie like stare. He opened his paw and was in Sweetie's trance.

"Well, what do ya know! It really works," exclaimed the canary with an amused, yet grateful, sigh. "Now what do I do with him?"

She looked around for a few seconds, trying to think of something that would keep Furrball away from her. She soon found it.

In the distance, an echoing 'Beep, Beep!' caught her attention. The little red road runner known simply as Little Beeper sped past her and the cat. With a quick 'Beep, Beep!' he was nothing but a streaking dust cloud, tearing up the road as if it were his personal playground.

Sweetie thought for a moment, then rubbed her wings together. "Perfect!" she said, "If he wants to chase a bird, I'll give him one." She gave Furrball another dose of her hypnotic stare.

The cat shook his head as he awoke and stared, blankly, at Sweetie sitting in his open paw. He quickly regained his senses and stuffed her in his mouth before she could pull something else on him.

"HOLD IT!" she called out, "I'm not on your menu!"

Furrball suddenly began to feel as if he'd just taken a bite of something very sour. His entire body shook with the sensation. When he could no longer stand it, he coughed, sputtered and spat out the canary. Quickly, he gargled, spat and applied a minty smelling spray to get rid of the awful taste.

As he did, Little Beeper raced past the duo again, this time attracting Furrball's attention.

"Doesn't he look much yummier then poor defenseless helpless little me?" Sweetie asked the cat.

"Uh-huh," he mewed, nodding as he watched Little Beeper race off.

"Doesn't he seem like a much bigger tastier meal then me?" the canary asked him in a sweet voice.

He nodded again, His hunger started to build.

"Don't you just want to gobble HIM up?" Sweetie asked.

Again, Furrball nodded, his tongue rolling out onto the ground. The irises in his eyes changed to little roast road runners as he saw Beeper racing over the horizon. The cat began to drool ravenously, licking his lips in hunger.

Sweetie pulled out a checkered flag. "On your mark," she called. Furrball got down on all four paws, laying low on his front ones.

"Get set," she raised the flag over her head. Furrball raised his hind quarters. With a determined grin, he growled to himself as if planning his meal.

"GO GET HIM!!" roared the canary, dropping the flag smack on Furrball's head. He shrugged it off and sped away, leaving a small streak of fire behind him. As Furrball disappeared over the hill, Sweetie giggled to herself.

"Ah! Peace and quiet at last," she said to no one in particular.

Amazingly enough, Furrball soon gained on the sneaker wearing road runner. He growled as he leaped into the air, hoping to pounce upon the bird. Little Beeper heard the growl and looked behind him. To his surprise, he was about to be pounced by a CAT of all things!

The road runner increased his speed, narrowly avoiding Furrball's claws.

Furrball landed, face flat, on the cement and slid a few feet. The cat sat up, looking a bit defeated. He spat out a small mound of dirt.

Watching from a nearby bench, Little Beeper laughed at the unfortunate cat. With a determined glare, Furrball leapt up and lunged at the bird again. As he closed in on Little Beeper, the road runner side stepped him. Furrball ended up running into the bench, his stomach receiving the brunt of his mistake.

"Beep! Beep!" quipped Little Beeper before speeding off again.

The cat took a deep breath, popping himself back into shape. He took off at top speed as well. There was no way he was allowing some feather-brained bike horn to escape him!

Seeing that he had company again, Little Beeper went on a mad dash, racing this way and that. The duo sped through parks, buildings, streets, highways, up over traffic and even straight through an expensive painting that was being moved into an apartment building, much to the displeasure of the new tenant. In a last ditch effort to lose the cat, Little Beeper sped right up the side of a building.

Furrball saw it coming and hit the brakes. His whole body turned around and his backside hit the building. The poor cat just sat there, his tongue laying on the ground as he panted.

Beeper's mocking "Beep! Beep!" caught Furrball's attention. The cat looked upwards to see Beeper's head looking over the ledge at the top of the building.

With a heavy sigh, Furrball dropped his head back on the cement. He slowly got up and glanced up the wall. Extending his claws out, he began to slowly and steadily climb up the side of the building. As he reached a window ledge about halfway up, he lost his footing. With a loud "RRRAAAAAAWWW!" he fell off the ledge. Fortunately, the window was open. Furrball's tail quickly swung around and latched onto a curtain just inside the window. The cat wiped his brow in relief.

"John, close the window. It's getting cold in here," said a woman's voice.

"Yes, dear," grumbled a man's voice. Two hands reached up and shut the window directly on Furrball's tail.

He yelped in pain and hurriedly pulled himself back up on the ledge. Quickly yanking his tail out from under the window, he started climbing up the building again.

After what seemed like an eternity, the cat finally hoisted himself over the top ledge of the building. He glanced back down, panting all the while.

Little Beeper was waiting right behind him. A loud "Beep! Beep!" caused the cat to leap into the air. His toes managed to grab the ledge and left him tetering on it. The road runner blew a puff of air in Furrball's direction. That was all it took for the poor cat to lose his balance and fall.

His pitiful screech was quieted by a resounding SPLAT as he hit the pavement.

The cat's next trick was to use a balloon. He pulled and stretched it until it snapped back on his nose. After a quick rub to his nose, Furrball began to blow up the balloon. As he did, the balloon began to rise, taking him along with it.

Soon he reached the top of the building again. Beeper waited there with a sharp looking pin in his wing. Seeing this, the cat scrambled up faster. He latched his arm around the road runner's throat before he could use the pin.

Furrball grinned smugly, thinking that he was finally going to get his meal.

Little Beeper wasn't out of tricks yet though! He reached his beak up and pecked at the balloon. Furrball lost his grip on Beeper as he tried to stop the road runner from popping the balloon. He was too late. The fresh puncture caused the balloon to lose air quickly. It zig-zagged all over the sky dragging Furrball along for the ride.

When the last of the air had exhaled from the balloon, Furrball breathed a sigh of relief. His dread resurged when he realized that he was still in mid air! The cat prayed for a miracle as he began to fall.

He oofed as he hit something much faster, and softer, than expected. Opening his eyes, he found himself on the back of Concord Condor.

"Hiya, Sport. That'll be twenty bucks for the miracle," the condore told him. Furrball grumbled a bit but paid anyway.

The cat decided that maybe some more advanced methods would be needed here. He found a payphone amd made a call.

As he opened the booth door, a delivery truck stopped in front of him and sped off. Only two blue feet could be seen under a large brown package that had been dumped on the cat. The feet slowly inched their way off behind the apartment building.

Boxes, papers and wrappings were strewn everywhere as Furrball put his purchase together. He pounded, sawed and nailed a ramp into place.

Next, he secured a rope around his waist and to a rocket that matched him in body size. He added the last part of his getup, a pair of skates and the safety equipment that came with them.

Furrball made sure that the skates were fastened tightly. He needed them to make sure he got the momentum to get off the ground.

He struck a match and prepared to light the rocket.

Suddenly, Plucky Duck walked in front of him. The duck was carrying an armful of books. His expression was only a blank stare.

"Must serve bunnies. Must serve bunnies," was all he kept repeating as he walked.

Buster and Babs Bunny walked a few feet behind him. Babs said, "Gee, it sure is nice having Plucky around." As an aside, she added, "I can't believe I'm actually saying that."

"Yeah," agreed Buster, "But, this book does help a little." He held up a simple red book, 'How to Hypnotize Evewything'.

With a puzzled look, Furrball watched them walk off. He shrugged and light the rocket.

The fuse burned up to the rocket and started it afire. Furrball was launched up the ramp and into the sky. As he flew up over the building, he reached out to grab Little Beeper. The smart bird ducked, missing Furrball's grasp by inches.

The cat tried again. This time, as he reached the ledge, he sliced the rocket rope with his claws. The rocket sped into the atmosphere. Furrball landed on the ledge and rolled towards Little Beeper. The road runner jumped over Furrball as if he were playing leap frog with the cat.

Furrball couldn't believe he'd missed again. He was unable to slow down either. Things were about to get worse. He was heading straight towards an open door leading to the staircase! Frantically, the cat tried to take off the skates. They wouldn't budge.

He covered his eyes as he flew through the door and zoomed right off the first step. He slammed into the opposite wall and slid down it. Somehow, he mnaged to land on a small ledge. Not realizing how small the ledge was, Furrball peeled himself off the wall.

Big mistake!

He fell backwards and tumbled right on down every flight of stairs in that building. Hitting the exit door was the only way he could stop. He meowed in pain as his form was embedded into the door.

Now, very determained to catch Beeper, Furrball turned around and ran back up the stairs. He was coming up the stairs like a freight train zooming through a valley. He could see Little Beeper standing at the top of the flight of stairs. As the cat approached, the road runner slammed the door in the his face.

Unfortunately, Little Beeper didn't get the results he'd expected. Furrball tore right through the door! The cat turned around to face Little Beeper. His expression looked more then slightly unhappy.

With a sheepish grin, Little Beeper took off back down the stairs and out of the building. Furrball followed close behind.

The two, once again, raced through side streets, parks and traffic lights. They even went through a pizza parlor where the duo made a quick stop to grab a soda.

Little Beeper raced into an alley and nearly hit the wall. He was now trapped! There was no place to hide and the wall had some sharp spike on top of it to stop any would be climbers. He turned around, hoping that he might have time to get out of there.

No such luck, Furrball stood there, blocking the alley. The cat was just about at the end of his sanity. His ravenous, drooling open mouth made it quite clear that he was through playing around. Even his cold, hunger stricken eyes were without compassion.

The cat started to close in on Beeper. With each step, his shadow grew larger, trapping the road runner in its darkness. For the first time in his life, Little Beeper was scared. He had nowhere to run and no way to fight. He cowered in a corner, shivering over his certain doom.

Now almost directly over the road runner, Furrball reached down, intending to thrust Beeper into his starving mouth. A sudden tap on Furrball's shoulder stopped him.

Angry about delaying his meal, Furrball spun around to give the interrupter a piece of his mind. His angry look soon changed to surprise and fear as he found himself eye to eye with Calamity Coyote. The coyote was far scarier than Furrball had been.

Calamity's already narrowed eyes narrowed even more. His frowning face became a fiercesome sneer. The light that was cast on the coyote's face twisted it into a hellish glare that gave even Furrball's bones the chills.

With a small gulp, the cat turned back to Little Beeper. He patted the road runner's head, stood him up and shooed him away. Beeper gladly sped off without a second glance.

Casting a hopeful grin in Calamity's direction, Furrball stepped to the side and edged his way around the coyote.

Calamity's glare followed him all the while. Once around him, Furrball backed his way out of the alley. Calamity stepped forward for every time the cat stepped back. The coyote made a motion as if he were rolling up his sleeve.

Furrball's slow moving steps suddenly become a life or death run. He turned around and ran off. Calamity still followed in hot pursuit.

After spending most of his life chasing after a road runner, Calamity had no trouble at all catching up to Furrball. He leaped at the cat, grabbing onto him easily. The two disappeared in a dust cloud where pounding and yelps of pain from both sides could be heard.

As the fight raged on, the dust cloud moved about the street and on up the hill. It fell over the other side and vanished as Calamity and Furrball lost their balance. The two spiraled down the hill. They tumbled down past a traffic cop and right on into a telephone pole, busting it in half.

Glancing at the blue and gray whirl that tumbled past him, the cop shrugged, "Eh, and to think I retired from car chases so I could avoid the wierdos."

The cat and coyote shook their heads to escape the stars circling around them. They glanced at each other. Calamity held up a sign, 'Next time, chase your own prey and leave mine alone!' He whacked Furrball with the sign and stalked off, leaving the cat dazed again.

As Furrball regained his senses, again, he thought back to earlier. Realizing what Sweetie had done to him, his face curled into an angry pout.

The cat got up and marched himself off in search of her. His slow march quickly picked up speed. His form started to look more like a speeding bullet than a running cat.

Back in her nest, Sweetie was enjoying the peace and relaxation of not having to outrun a hungry kitty all the time. She stretched and sipped her lemonade happily.

'Now this I could get used to!' she thought. A spatchula suddenly swatted her, like a fly, out of her lazyness. Her flattened body popped back into shape. She glanced up and was surprised to see Furrball standing on the branch.

With a look of fright, the canary quickly searched for her hypnotism book. She threw out rackets, jars, cans, a rotting piece of pizza and even a kitchen sink looking for the book. As she found it, a blue paw surrounded her and lifted her up off the ground. She opened it and read as fast as she could.

A grinning set of teeth greeted her as she finished reading and looked up. She went into her icey, sneering stare, trying to hypnotize Furrball again. She lost her concentration when she found out she was staring straight at a mirror!

The canary was now in a trance of her own and at Furrball's mercy. She dropped the book as her conscious thought drifted. Furrball caught it and did some reading of his own.

Glancing around, the cat saw a perfect target --a human child walking past the tree. He cast his own hypnotic glance on Sweetie and set her off after the child.

Sweetie fluttered down into the child's face. The child blinked as she saw Sweetie come to her willingly. The canary licked her lips hungrily.

"Whee! A pretty canary-wary head wants to be my pet!" cried the red headed child excitedly. She grabbed a hold of Sweetie and hugged her, way too tightly. "I'll take you home and feed you, and pet you and love you to itty bitty teensy weensy baby bits Miss Canary-head!"

Sweetie's newfound bad choice of diet had just landed her in a heap of trouble. Sweetie choked and sputtered in agony as she was dragged off to Elmyra's pit of torture.

Furrball watched them go with a joyous grin. Planting himself in a lounge chair, he sipped on his own soda and enjoyed the fact that for once, he was getting the better end of the deal.

All Tiny Toon Adventures and Looney Tunes characters (C) Warner Brothers. Characters used without permission but with lots of love.


End file.
